My answers to my questions

Who created this life?

I do not know

What is the purpose?

I do not know

Is there an intention for every life made?

I do not know

How do I wish to live my life?

By choice

How do you or have you chosen?

By what I want to do or what would make me happy

Have you ever regretted for your decisions?

Not truly as I don’t think I would’ve chosen the other way at that moment

Have you decided anytime to make other happy?

Yes

How often?

Seldom when I was alone, often after I had my child and parents with me

Have you regretted those decisions?

Yes, some times. But again thinking back I would not have decided the other way. So probably I decided with my consent

What do you think disturbs you more?

My past memories, biases, impressions which influence my presence

What do you wish often?

To clean my brain of its thinking and other clutter

What else you wish for?

To make my body light, to float off ground or get absorbed by earth

Do you want to live long?

No

Are you afraid of death?

Not at all

What worries you when you think of your death?

Care of my dependent child

Do you think it can be ignored?

Yes, I know it is not under my control and whatever will happen will happen

What you are not able to control most?

My anger or my frustrated response to situations

Can you live a happier life?

I think I am living a happy life to my best

Do you think it can be made better?

Maybe , if I handle situations with calm mind; and if I don’t get my previous biases influence my presence

Are you scared to live another life?

No, why? It maybe fun to live another life at another time. Or maynot be fun. But I am not scared

What do you prefer the most now? Company or silence?

Silence. With a silent mind

Do you know the way to get there?

No. But I think I will go for it sooner or later.

------------------------------as of May 21^st 2019

                                         Shanthi

Share my secret!

So Long! just opened and realised that my last blog was more than 2 years ago! Very interesting! How our priorities change with time and growth! And how nice it is to feel that I have no regrets about the change of order. May be it is the secret of my happiness or anybody's! Just change with time, move forward in the light and leave behind the dark. Darkness may surround me , but not stop me from moving forward! My best favorite quote which I keep telling myself and others is that' The Sun and the Moon never stop moving for anybody's sake'. May be that is why both of them give light day and night! Just keep moving and enjoy the brightness and rest when darkness comes! Thanks to my sleeping Baby who inspired me to blog tonight!

So much in a Day!

With my recent real life experiences, I realise how much a human can learn from a day from dawn till dusk! It is amazing how much a child grasps from a day; every action, every word and every change grasped in mind and stored there! Growing every minute, changing without a fuss, accepting life without any complaints and moving with it! Wow! It is AMAZING! And is lovely to watch!

Why do we lose such a nice attitude when we grow older? Why aging doesnt retain the fresh and forgiving child's mind! I really wonder! Why shouldnt innocence, play and laughter continue to be with us? Why the nature sets the rules this way? Whats the use of maturity and growth if there is less of peace and happiness!

This mysterious life with so many unanswered questions!!

The Future!

Recently had a discussion on astrology etc and wish to write about it now. Do I believe in it? well, there are so many things on earth which you dont understand (long list including God and Me) , but cannot discard them as non-sense. I've heard people telling about the past and futures and dont know if the futures were right.

But if left to myself I dont want to know about my future and dont believe that anybody's life is set to happen in only one way! I think we have different paths or options left open to choose at every step in life and our future happens by the way we choose. Does it not make sense? Fair enough reason as Fate / God, life, nature and we have equal roles in deciding our fate? We may choose the right or wrong path but can never blame others for it, becos WE CHOSE! I think any astrologer sees only one path and either ignores or doesnt see the others. He may be right in a way but maynot know which way we will take. Life is interesting isnt it? the whole mystery about life is the beauty!

I dont understand why many of us want to spoil the beauty by trying to know abt future!

Happiness of non-violence!

Recently mentioned to a friend about the happiness I get when I forgive somebody, when I avoid hurting somebody and when I stop hating somebody! Wish to share this thought. If you have ever appreciated this feeling of light heartedness, feeling of self-satisfaction, feeling of relief when you forgive a person whom you almost hated, you may understand what I say. It feels really good and you realise with a surprise that you have a good heart inside and such understanding may transform you or bring the best out of you. the beauty is if all of us can realise the greatness in it, we may never fight, never abuse, never destroy anybody's life out of hatred. The beauty of non-violence! But I think it is hard to be totally non violent, in this world, in this civilisation. We may pay a heavy prize during our lives if we dont fight back the wrongs, if we cant defend ourselves! But we can probably try! Atleast die trying! (one of my friend's favorite quote)

why crime and men!

During my routine life whenever I read the newspaper in the morning, when I hear about my maid's everyday sufferings, when I watch the reckless driving on chennai roads, when I witness an unwarranted abuse......... I wonder why men(male gender) have an affinity to crime?
Am I feminist? Definitely not.
You may agree with me, if you too read about the numerous crimes by men all over the world everyday; if you too have a cook or cleaner whose husband spends all her earnings in alcohol and beats her for more; if you are a decent driver who wants to follow rules, if you were ever in the vicinity of terrorism!
Why? why the hunger for violence? why the desire to hurt? why the anxiety to overrule? Am not talking about everybody, but the majority. God or nature made them so? Let it be. But can they not change for good? For the good of this world, good of the children, good of those numerous poor women who lose their happiness and pride everyday to take care of the supposed to be providers!
Do I hate these men? No, am actually surprised by the way they live and sympathise their inability to live beautifully. Will the good God who made them transform them?
I remember Osho's writing now. He said humans stopped evolving long back. Information does not make you evolve, you have to transform to grow. The Change! The Big bang change!

Growing Old!

I am seeing more men and women who look, act and are younger than their actual age nowadays. The desire, effort and capability doing things! When I was remembering one such friend, a sudden thought occurred to me.

Why we feel bad about aging. Bad enough to be wanting to be young in mind and body. I do know that aging comes with the package of sore joints, dim vision and poor memory. But can we not accept it as life and not compare with the youthful past? Like youth, old age also has its own advantages. You are wiser, slower, non-impulsive, more-forgiving, less self-conscious, open and talking, willing to listen and share, have lot of time to make friends or socialise, patient and tolerant to mischievous children and many.............................. more good changes in life and attitude! We may not be very strong physically but when in life you have everything perfect? is a balance always!

So, why cant we say I am older and I like it? Like a child, who always wants to grow older. And Friends, who ever is reading this should remember this when I grow older!